Starving for touch but can’t stand to be touched

I’ve realised recently that one reason why I don’t want to be in a relationship, might be that I don’t like people, especially people I don’t know, touching me. I have noticed some years ago already, that I avoid touching people without a reason. I mean handshakes and other touching that is appropriate for the given situation is fine, but other than that I’d rather not let other people touch me. I have one very awkward photo from my graduation, where a distant relative of mine is coming to congratulate me, and while I’m clearly going for a handshake, she is going for a hug.  I have only a few people, a select few of my closest relatives, who I like to hug without any reason. I don’t even hug my friends unless it’s been a very long time since I saw them last, or it’s a special occasion like a birthday. And I’m talking about people I’ve known for from ten to twenty years here. How would this work in early stages of dating or in a relationship? I can’t imagine it going very well…

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Managing my time

I introduce a few of my tips and tricks to be more productive and get things done.

I didn’t really have any proper idea for this post when I started writing. I had several small thoughts I thought I could write about, but I wasn’t sure if I would have enough to say about any of them to write a post long enough (I have set a challenge to myself to try to make these posts at least 750-1000 words long). Then I thought that I should probably write something a bit more positive this time, since my last post was quite sad one. So, I chose to write about my time management and scheduling, since I’m quite happy with how my day-to-day life is looking and how productive I’ve managed to be lately compared to this time last year. And I can’t even really say that I would have somehow fewer engagements than last year.

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Why I’m so angry all the time?

Lately I’ve often been feeling sad and irritable. Especially I notice this with a couple of my friends with whom I’m often in contact. I’m being snappy and confrontational with them and that’s not like me at all. I don’t want to argue with my friends, but I just feel like I can’t help it: I just suddenly get so angry over the tiniest, stupidest things. It might be a reaction to being stressed over having too many things to do and/or being exhausted over lack of sleep (because I have too many things to do to get to bed at reasonable hour), but I feel that this has started already earlier this year. Lately it has just gotten worse.

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Can love be only a choice?

They say that love is a choice. I get what they mean: when life gets hard, you have to choose to stay in the relationship and work to make it better, and not just leave the minute something seems to go wrong. But can love be just a choice from the beginning? Or does it require some sort of spark or attraction in the beginning?

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I give the impression of being interested – I must be doing something wrong…

I have ghosted one person in my life. It was a colleague of mine who after some occasional small talk at the cafeteria and one unexpected email asked me to dinner by another email. I’m not exactly sure if it was meant as a date or not, but it sure sounded like one to me. I had answered the first email, because it seemed rude not to, and I did answer the second email too, saying something vague about how I had to check if I had time, since my timetable was quite busy. But to be honest, I had never any intention of getting back to him after that. If he were ever to ask me about it, I had decided to say that I forgot about it and apologise. After that I have been avoiding him as much as I can.

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A story time

Hello all,

For the first 9 months of my blog I wrote about how I want to have a boyfriend and to be in a relationship in several posts here. I even wrote one titled “I want to be in a relationship!” Well, this is a funny turn of events, because now I have totally changed my mind. I never want to be in a romantic relationship ever again, no matter how casual or committed it would be. How did this happen?

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Oh, hello again!

Hello. It’s been quite a long time since I last wrote here. A lot has happened since then, and I’m going to tell you about it in my next post (yes, it is planned and hopefully coming next week), but now I’m going to write about something that has been on my mind recently. Well, I say recently… these thoughts have actually been on my mind since the end of July, so more than a month now.

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