I’ve realised recently that one reason why I don’t want to be in a relationship, might be that I don’t like people, especially people I don’t know, touching me. I have noticed some years ago already, that I avoid touching people without a reason. I mean handshakes and other touching that is appropriate for the given situation is fine, but other than that I’d rather not let other people touch me. I have one very awkward photo from my graduation, where a distant relative of mine is coming to congratulate me, and while I’m clearly going for a handshake, she is going for a hug. I have only a few people, a select few of my closest relatives, who I like to hug without any reason. I don’t even hug my friends unless it’s been a very long time since I saw them last, or it’s a special occasion like a birthday. And I’m talking about people I’ve known for from ten to twenty years here. How would this work in early stages of dating or in a relationship? I can’t imagine it going very well…
Lately I’ve often been feeling sad and irritable. Especially I notice this with a couple of my friends with whom I’m often in contact. I’m being snappy and confrontational with them and that’s not like me at all. I don’t want to argue with my friends, but I just feel like I can’t help it: I just suddenly get so angry over the tiniest, stupidest things. It might be a reaction to being stressed over having too many things to do and/or being exhausted over lack of sleep (because I have too many things to do to get to bed at reasonable hour), but I feel that this has started already earlier this year. Lately it has just gotten worse.
They say that love is a choice. I get what they mean: when life gets hard, you have to choose to stay in the relationship and work to make it better, and not just leave the minute something seems to go wrong. But can love be just a choice from the beginning? Or does it require some sort of spark or attraction in the beginning?
For the first 9 months of my blog I wrote about how I want to have a boyfriend and to be in a relationship in several posts here. I even wrote one titled “I want to be in a relationship!” Well, this is a funny turn of events, because now I have totally changed my mind. I never want to be in a romantic relationship ever again, no matter how casual or committed it would be. How did this happen?
Hello. It’s been quite a long time since I last wrote here. A lot has happened since then, and I’m going to tell you about it in my next post (yes, it is planned and hopefully coming next week), but now I’m going to write about something that has been on my mind recently. Well, I say recently… these thoughts have actually been on my mind since the end of July, so more than a month now.
There are several aspects of my life that I’m not happy about, but lately I’ve stopped trying to change them. But I’m not really sure is it because I’ve accepted the situation (which I think would be a good thing) or have I simply given up trying to change it (which wouldn’t be so good). I have two examples for you.
Lately I’ve read from different online conversations how so many men are unwillingly single, because women want pretty much perfect man and are therefore tuning down men that aren’t perfect, but still decent, nice guys. Men on the other hand would happily date almost any woman. I’d hate this to be true, because it sounds so sad, but recently I’ve started to wonder, if it actually is true…