They say that love is a choice. I get what they mean: when life gets hard, you have to choose to stay in the relationship and work to make it better, and not just leave the minute something seems to go wrong. But can love be just a choice from the beginning? Or does it require some sort of spark or attraction in the beginning?
There are several aspects of my life that I’m not happy about, but lately I’ve stopped trying to change them. But I’m not really sure is it because I’ve accepted the situation (which I think would be a good thing) or have I simply given up trying to change it (which wouldn’t be so good). I have two examples for you.
Lately I’ve read from different online conversations how so many men are unwillingly single, because women want pretty much perfect man and are therefore tuning down men that aren’t perfect, but still decent, nice guys. Men on the other hand would happily date almost any woman. I’d hate this to be true, because it sounds so sad, but recently I’ve started to wonder, if it actually is true…
For the past year, I’ve been extremely busy during my free time. My weekends are booked for weeks, even months ahead with meetings with friends, travelling, theater and other events. I have already learnt that if I want to do something, I have to decide a day for it as soon as possible, because otherwise there won’t be time for it.
I’m also very self-sufficent: for me it’s no problem to go alone to a movie or a play, for example. Heck, I even went to France for a weekend recently just by myself! Usually, if I want to do something, I first look at my calendar and decide a day, when I have time for the thing, and then I might tell my friends: “I’m doing X on that day, you are free to join me if you want”. Of course, if one of my friends says that they’d love to come with me, but they can’t on that day, I’m willing to change my plans if we can find a better date that suits us both, but if not, then I go alone.
Obviously, if I’ve planned to do something especially with my friend, then I have to take their schedules into account too. I’ve noticedthough, that finding time that suits both can be tricky. And then it might be so that I don’t get to do the thing at all (if we were going to see a movie or a play for example).
For most parts, I don’t mind doing things by myself. Only if I’ve planned to do something with my friends, and then it takes longer than expected for my friends to show up, I might start to feel abandonend. Usually these are situations, where we haven’t agreed very exact time, when we are meeting, and I might have been ready and waiting for my friends to arrive or call me about the schedule for hours.
I think that this habbit of making plans and then just announcing them to people works quite well with friends and relatives, as long as I’m not expecting anything from them. Obviously, if I’m planning on spending the night at someone’s place, for example, I can’t just announce that by the way, I’m coming on this day, be ready for me… 😀 But, since I’m always thinking about dating and relationships, I’m a bit worried about how my future boyfriend is going to react to this habbit of mine.
Of course, if we had something planned, I wouldn’t just one-sidedly change the plans and say that I’m doing this instead. But for example, if we were both free for the weekend, and there were a movie I’d like to see in the cinema, I think I might just say: “I’m going to see that, you’re free to come too if you want”. Would that be too independent and not taking my partner into consideration enough?
On the other hand I would find it weird to “ask permission” in a way, to do things, and I don’t have the need to spend all the time together with my partner. This is something I have wondered with my parents also. My dad has a hobby that keep him busy during weekends for 2-3 months every autumn, and my mom often complains how they can’t do anything during this time because my dad’s hobby. The thing that I don’t understand is, why she doesn’t make plans on her own for that period then. It’s not like she wouldn’t know when the period starts. But maybe I just don’t understand that because I’ve never been in a relationship…
Thank you for reading!
I have this one habit, where I go to read online newspapers and try to find the articles with nastiest and most hateful comments and then read those. I don’t even know why I do this, because in most cases I don’t agree with the commenters and reading the comments just makes me sad. Sometimes I’m not even that interested in the article itself, though usually I am, because I’ve noticed that stories with people telling about their strucles in life. The nasty commnets in these articles usually are about how the situation is the fault of the people interviewed, and therefore they shouldn’t complain about it on the newspapers. And recently I’ve been wondering, is it really so?
For a while now, I have been thinking, what kind of work I would like to do. To be honest, I have quite a clear pisture of what kind of job I would like to have, but I have no idea how to get a job like that.
I’m not saying that I’m unhappy with my current job, but it’s not something I want to do for the rest of my life. I have a decent salary, which allows me to live quite comfortably, but it also often leaves me frustrated and stressed, and I’m not really that interested in the field I’m working in.
I don’t feel inspired to write at all, but I still want to write something today, because it’s been solong since I last wrote anything. Let’s see, what I’m able to come up with…